By: Rebecca Feere
As believers in a sin-cursed world, we desire healing, rest, peaceful relationships, and unity – can’t we all just get along since we love Jesus? However, during our struggle, suffering or conflict, we often resist the steps to get to that place of peace or become impatient along the way. This desire to be free of conflict and suffering comes up in conversations I have from time to time. I talk to believers who want to be free of suffering, addictive behaviours, disease, waiting for a prodigal to return, restoration of family relationships, etc. They want all the unknowns to be revealed and for Jesus to make all things right, right now!
Life experience and science tell us that healing and restoration do not happen overnight. Anyone who’s broken a bone knows healing is a process. And healing has a starting point. While desiring and hoping for good outcomes may be motivators, they do not bring change. Whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual, healing begins with a decision to do things (or respond to things) differently. As for the broken bone – healing starts with submitting to the wisdom of the physician. The healing of broken family relationships, addictions, mental health struggles, etc., also begins with a deliberate choice to submit to the wisdom of God, godly counsellors and professionals He places in our lives.
You may be wondering what honesty and humility have to do with this. As I reflect back on my recovery from anorexia, the first and largest hurdle was to be honest with myself, others and God that I had a problem. That was not easy! I had lived for years, convincing myself that I was okay, I had this under control, I was “eating healthy,” and I was fine. Pride kept me stuck here for years. Thankfully (and yes, I genuinely am thankful), God humbled me and brought me to such a low place that I had to get honest about what was happening. Admitting my need for help and acknowledging that food rules controlled me was the first step, followed shortly after by admitting this need to family members and trusted friends. Being honest with myself, God, and others was anything but easy, but it was the first step toward healing. Psalm 32:1-5 is one passage that speaks to the healing found when God’s people respond in honesty to God.
Next came humility. Let’s be honest about this term — humility is not something revered in our society. Our social media feeds are full of messages encouraging us to blaze our own trails and to do what seems right and best for us. If you can dream it, do it! And as Frank Sinatra taught us long before social media, we can do it our way. Our culture has become individualistic. Looking out for number one and pushing to get things done “our way or the highway” is fuelled by pride. There is little consideration as to how our actions hurt others, and even if that crosses our minds, we often just don’t care. We do what we do because we want what we want. And we are willing to do whatever it costs to get it done.
Recovery from a mental health struggle, victory over a sinful pattern of behaviour, or the mending of broken relationships is stunted by pride. I had to humbly admit I needed care, wisdom from others who were experts, and prayer – I needed help. Someone wisely told me – if you could fix this, you would have already done so. She was so right! I had tried to fix this, to get it under control for years, but to no avail. The more I tried to work things out on my own, the worse things became. Most importantly, Scripture teaches that God gives grace (the ability to change empowered by His Spirit) to the humble (James 4:6). One who is humble is able to receive help and wisdom from God and others. God is near to and revives the hearts of the lowly (Isa 57:15).
Honesty and humility soften our hearts, allow us to invite God into our struggles and give us the ability to recognize His gentle guidance throughout the ups and downs we encounter. He promises to be with us, and knowing He is with us, we can take the next step without fear (Ps 23:4, 1 Jn 4:18). When we humbly recognize His sovereign care and love for us, our faith grows, and we find the courage to behave and live differently. Admitting our need for help is not a sign of weakness but of true courage and strength.
One of the blessings of God’s gracious gift of salvation is that when we confess our sin and accept Jesus as our Saviour, we become children of God (Jn 1:12; Gal 4:4-7; 1 Jn 3:1). We are adopted and, as adopted children, have all the rights of sons and daughters of God. Do you know what that means? WE ARE A FAMILY! A family shares the burdens of life. Family members are open and honest with each other about their sins and can rejoice together when they experience victory (in and because of Jesus). God designed us to need others; we will not thrive in isolation. We are made for community, and in relationships with other brothers and sisters in Christ, we “stir up one another to love and good works” (Heb 10:24).
Psalm 23:3a says, “He restores my soul.” Ultimately, there is no healing (physically, mentally or emotionally) and no restoration apart from complete surrender to the loving leadership of our Good Shepherd. “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts.” (Zech 4:6b)
