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I felt that this sin had me trapped. I had cried out to God for help, I had asked my friends for help, and I had set up boundaries in my life to help. I would pray about this sin like Paul did about his thorn in the flesh, “that it should leave me.” (2 Cor. 12:8) But none of it seemed to help. My cry for help seemed to go unanswered. I was calling out to God as David did in Psalm 51:7-9, after his sin with Bathsheba:

Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Oh, give me back my joy again;
you have broken me—
now let me rejoice.
Don’t keep looking at my sins.
Remove the stain of my guilt.

I look back now and know that God was answering my prayer, but I wasn’t asking for the right thing. He was helping me. I had friends who cared and tried. I had loved ones who helped me with the boundaries I had set up. I had a God who sustained me in the struggle. But my heart wanted the sin. I did not truly want to be free. It wasn’t until I started praying a different prayer that the sin lost its grip on my life. I began to ask God to change me. This is what David asks next in Psalm 51:10-11:

Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.
Do not banish me from your presence,
and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.

I began to ask God to change me—transform me—into someone who loves what God loves and hates what he hates. My wicked desires began to melt away. They did not disappear, but their power was diminished by the transformative power of a mighty God who answered my prayer and changed me. As the sorrow and guilt of this repetitive sin lifted, I began to wonder what to do with myself and my prayers changed again. I asked God to make me into what he wants me to be. David’s prayer in Psalm 51:12 reflects this change too:

Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and make me willing to obey you.

Christian, God saved you for a purpose. He has already helped you by putting his Holy Spirit in you. He will change you—transform you—if you ask. This is not something that happens by accident. We do not take up a cross daily and follow Jesus to death by accident (see Luke 9:23). The saved and transformed Christian is made an effective tool in God’s hand—this is a terror to the Devil!

Here’s your challenge, Central. Pray these prayers this week and see what God will do:

“God help me!” Know that He does.

“God change me!” Know that He can.

“God make me!” And know that He will.

It was right about this time last year that we started to hear about the Coronavirus and Covid-19. And, truth be told, most of us were quite sure it would never reach us and that what was happening in China would never happen here in Canada. If I am honest, I was quite smug, comfortable, and a little too confident of my circumstances. And, then it did happen to us–schools, churches, stores, sports–all of it closed, and our everyday, comfortable routines were paused. The onset of the pandemic was a time of many unknowns and a whole lot of uncertainty. I struggled with fear and doubt. I had to remind myself daily (and still do) that Covid-19 and all its repercussions have not come as a surprise to God. He is still in control–Heaven Rules (Dan. 4:26)!

So, what do we do when the fears and uncertainties of life seem to loom larger every day? I have found peace in anchoring my heart to the Truth of Who God is. As God’s children, we must remember that our circumstances do not determine truth–God’s Word is Truth! As we read, study, and meditate on His Word, He reveals to us His character. He is faithful. He is good, and His steadfast love endures forever (Ps. 136)!

Then I had to be honest about the condition of my heart. The pandemic exposed the idols of my heart in so many ways. A few weeks ago, Pastor Jeremy addressed the idols of our hearts, and he recommended the book Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller. Here Keller defines an idol as anything(whether considered good or bad) in our life that has become an ultimate thing. Hmmm, ouch, there it is. My schedule, my job, my vacation plans, my comforts, my favourite store, my comfortable place of worship–all of it was suddenly gone. God showed me that I couldn’t control these things. I had never been in control of them in the first place – they had taken control of me.

One of my professors faithfully reminds me, “God kindly brings us to our point of need so that we will recognize that He is all we need.” We don’t like to think of ourselves as needy, but as we seek to know God by studying His Word, we humbly recognize that we need Him every moment of every day. That same professor sums up Philippians 4:6 this way: “Every anxious thought is an invitation to pray.” We can boldly go to God with every anxious thought swirling in our heads and tell Him what we need (more of Him, a more robust faith in Him) with a spirit of praise and thanksgiving for Who He is and what He has done and continues to do in our lives.

The “Covid Pause” has been a time of tremendous uncertainty for each of us. As God’s children, we have had the opportunity to see the power of God in a new and fresh way. Our God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Heb. 13:8). Let’s ground ourselves in the Truth of Who He is! Let’s trade our anxious thoughts for worship-filled prayers of thanksgiving. I am asking Him to fill my mind and yours with His peace that overrides all human understanding (Phil. 4:7).

Grab one truth from God’s Word to rehearse for the week or the month! Here is one verse that has helped me to anchor my heart to Truth. “The LORD sits enthroned over the flood; the LORD sits enthroned as King forever!” (Ps. 29:10)